A cool tip

My biggest struggle right now is not with June but Truett. This afternoon before nap he hurled a pile of books to the floor, ran into the den-we-are-using-as-dining, tried to hide in the empty tv cabinet, then ran into our room and JUMPED on June's little sleeping figure. To be fair, she was bundled in blankets and I'm quite sure he didn't realize what he was jumping on.

The point is, I'm in this awful cycle of being super frustrated with him, then with myself for how badly I react to his misbehavior. I'm stuck between believing he needs reprimanding and understanding. We are trying to be consistent with consequences while still taking lots of time for praise and attention but of course, duh, with June here he gets that things have changed. Even if he can't put it into words.

I briefly explained this to my friend Kathleen today and you know what she suggested? A special basket of toys for nursing-time. So I'll fill it with cool things to play with and he can have it when I'm nursing only.

I'm excited to put it together and try. Any other good tips? I'm having trouble shouldering all this guilt. 

Comments

[The Mom]

You don't want to hear this, but you did ask. Truett knows he is loved, forgiven,empathized with. He doesn't know when to control himself. He needs limits that are enforced to the extent that he quits the acting out. No beating up the kid. Absolutely verboten. But no reinforcement of his bad behavior, either. He gets LOTS of attention when you have to focus on him for twenty minutes until he settles down. IMHO, it should stop at minute one and not re-commence at all. And no cuddling afterwards, b/c that just says he will get affection at the end of all the bad behavior. Just saying...

[Robin]

Try having him help with things so he feels important (he's a guy, after all). Give him tasks to accomplish and then praise him! It's a hard transition for everyone. I remember running to the bathroom, slamming the door, and crying. I hope it doesn't come to that with you, but it's o.k. if it does....

[Hope Sypert]

Mom - not mad! I did ask. It's just tough finding my place on the parental spectrum :)

Robin - aww, I know the feeling. Thanks for being so candid. And for what it's worth, I think running into the bathroom isn't the worst reaction. I end up shouting and then feeling terrible.

[Kelley]

Hi hope! I'm catching up on your posts ;). We struggle w the same stuff w kaitlyn. I read 1 2 3 magic , which really worked for us and helps ME to not get emotional. I think your post sums up what every mother of a 2 year old feels like- especially w the arrival of a new sib. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one! ;)

[Hope Sypert]

Thanks Kelley! I wrote it down & am looking forward to checking w/ our library. It's just so reassuring to hear from other mothers.