460 posts categorized "Parenthood"

Kiddos, first day

4th grade 1st grade

Three fun things for your Monday

Small building  skies  grass

First of all, how have I missed this Alexa ad? It's hilarious and b. we love our Alexa ap - the kids use it to play music, ask questions & inquire about the weather most mornings.

Secondly, this is an interesting, kind of funny, story about a broken ski pole, that my friend Miriam sent me. It bears noting, I have not been watching the Olympics, but I love how the games bring out these fascinating stories from all over the world. 

Last of all, guide to dog breeds is especially funny. My favorite line, "exercise me 6 hours every day or I'll eat this couch!!"

Hope you had a good weekend. xo

Ouch, parenting

Mother and child Frederic Leighton

I was talking to a friend yesterday about a moment's realization I had the other day. My sister and I were chatting on the phone, and, as often happens, we began wringing our hands over what kind of education is best for each of our children. Should I home-school? If I do, when (or if) do we put child(ren) back in school? Which school then? etc etc.

Of course I was consumed, at least momentarily, with anxiety over my choices. When it suddenly hit me, I cannot, as a parent, control my children's experience with the world. Of course you know this somewhere deep down all along, but like so much wisdom, it comes and goes. 

It's particularly tough for today's parent, who faces a constant barrage of parenting information. It lulls us into thinking we are in control, we are in charge. And it's tough, too, because to some extent we are! Especially when they are newborns and dependent on us for nearly everything. And statistics and outcome-based research is everywhere. So our choices DO matter. 

So, I get it. But ultimately. Ultimately, we have to let go some. There will be positives and negatives attached to each choice we make and so, after making as-best-a-decision-as-I-can, I think it is wise to let go of what happens after that choice. Or perhaps, deal with the outcomes as they come. I think this will take daily practice.

My friend, after hearing me relate my conversation with my sister, and my subsequent feeling about it all, found this poem by Kahlil Gibran, called, aptly enough, "Your Children Are Not Your Children".

I'll warn you to have the tissues ready if you are as prone to tears as I am, but also, there is a deep wisdom and comfort in these words, I think. Remember, you are somebody's baby too. xo

On Children
 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Link here. Image here.

On being human

Birthday post balloons

Today is the day I turn 37 years old. It's funny, getting older, duh, because you essentially always feel like the same person you always were. What's this 18 year old doing with two children? Weird.

But I don't sit down to write about the weirdness of aging, I just trust we're all in the same boat. I sit down in the hopes that I can write this morning, as a birthday gift to myself, with bravery and honesty and, in the greatest hopes, to ease someone else's burden.

Last year, and I suspect in different ways, in many years to come, was a tough year. I'm sure I've alluded to it here before, and I know that piques your curiosity, and we all die to know each other's nitty gritty, but it'll have to suffice that it just was and that I have a family and that I cannot share all my details here. Anyway, if you can move past that bit, I'll get to the part that really matters, I think.

For the first few months of feeling really, really shitty, I walked through my life mechanically. I smiled for my kids, I waved at friends in the carpool line and I bought groceries. I made dinner. I did laundry. Those things required little thought. And then, when no one was around, I hid in my room and cried. I sat on my couch and stared. I felt justifiably sorry for myself, and then I also indulged in feeling sorry for myself because OF COURSE people have it far, far worse than I do.

Then - and I think this is the important bit - I began a Rocky sequence. I got off the couch. I began running - slowly and with lots of walking at first. I weaned off of my SSRI (slowly, slowly). I lost 30 pounds. I bought a small, run down house. I worked hard, hard, hard to fix it up (we're under contract!). I prayed, I meditated (poorly), I went to therapy. 

Then - and this part is even more important - I also failed. I cried on the phone to my sisters and my best friends. I indulged in a lot of anger and self-pity. I looked healthy habits in the eye and gave them the finger. I snapped at my kids. I was, and am, and probably always will be, full of mental writhing. In short I failed a lot.

Also, I keep failing. Also, I keep running. Some mornings I don't run. Some mornings I slog through two miles, miserable the entire time. Some mornings, like this one, I am King Kong running through the neighborhood, conquering all that is in front of me. Sometimes I succeed out of spite and a sense of life doing me wrong. Other times I am able to harness gratitude and compassion and peace. Those are the best times and they are rare and hard won.

My point is, and I'm not even sure I have a point, but my point is I am failing and succeeding at the same time and I have a feeling you are too. A Rocky sequence is sexy and movie-worthy, but it doesn't actually feel that way when you are inside it. 

I am in a boat with the rest of you, I imagine, and yet most of us feel like our friends and neighbors are in the better, well-balanced, shiny boat. The one where no one argues, no one makes poor decisions, no one grapples with the weightiness of being human (ever wish you were just, like, a fish or something?). 

We all know social media picks and chooses what it shows us (everyone on instagram can make the most swoony pies, while mine look like a jumble of assorted fruits smashed inside a lumpy crust). We also all know by now that those portray the highlight reel, the things our friends choose to show us. We also all know some of the gritty behind-the-scenes. But, still. Why is it so hard?  Why does Facebook tire me out and leave me feeling crappy? Is everyone going about their instagram-worthy lives while I press my face into the wind? I know they're not. 

The other day I saw a quote - one of those ubiquitous wall-quotes hipsters love to hang up in their gallery walls - and it said, simply, "Patience and discipline," I love that. I can do that. I can't do it perfectly, but I can keep trying. I can wake up some mornings in despair (looking at you, my best friend in the world) and put my shoulder into the hill. I can experience the tough and the shitty and the beauty and the transcendence. I can acknowledge the truth in opposing opinions. I can try my best to live in the exquisite slivers of a nuanced life. 

I hope this helps. I hope you feel less alone. I hope you know that while a few people must be living insufferably balanced hipster lives, the rest of us are right there with you just trying our best. xoxo 

Cool Christmas card idea

2013 Sypert card

I am endeavoring to work on a simple + awesome gift guide for 2017, but in the meantime thought I'd put this up for those of you who like to mail out cards (me) but find it kind of an obnoxious task. And - I promise, much as I'd love it - this is not a sponsored or affiliated post or anything like that.

Minted - a company I've used several times for our Christmas cards, is offering a new service. You text them the photo you've chosen and they send you back five different options for cards. You choose one, give them some text details etc & then they put it in your shopping cart! Woot! (Plus, I love their business structure of working with independent designers).

Now if I could only wrangle the four of us into a decent photo...

Happy card-ordering! xo

PS - above is our card from 2013 (totally heartbreaking) & and the same post on how to make your own custom holiday card, if you're more in the crafty mood :)

When your plans for a Brooklyn Brownstone ish Halloween become more Miss Havesham

Brownstone Halloween Brooklyn

I wanted to stack heirloom pumpkins and create a spooky, cobwebby scene on our front stoop. You know, kind of like some stylish Brooklyn-ite might put on her brownstone stoop.

Instead, our chickens began pecking the pumpkins, and then the squirrels jumped in. I mean, literally. We found one waist deep in the bright orange bottom pumpkin. 

So I give you our Miss Havesham stoop instead ;)

Holey pumpkins

See the hanging rat?

Spider web

By June, This is the Zombie House. 

Sobe hose  June note

Truett's impaled, disembodied zombie hand, creeping out of the water meter.

Zombie hand  limp

Top image via Short & Sweet

Two Friday Favorites

Friday links - Manger

I do have a bit of Friday links for you!

One, the GORGEOUS picture above which is, of course, from one of my favorite blogs, Manger. I follow both Mimi & her uber-talented husband on instagram. His photography is so worth the endorphin release :)

Then, randomly, how great do these Swedish dishcloths look? I'm on a bit of a tear to reduce plastic + ugly things in our home, and these fit the bill nicely. 

And, lastly, I've been thinking a lot about parenting this week. I know the young parents in the world right now are overwhelmed and inundated with too much information, but this short article was calming & helpful for me to define ways of being firm + loving. (Otherwise my general advice to new parents is to NOT GOOGLE, or follow parenting click-bait)

Ok, I lied, one more. I love this post from Bunmi Laditan for some comic relief (shout out to Clyde for posting on FB)

Also - for more up-to-date posts, I often post to instagram if you'd like to follow. 

(photo credit from, duh, Manger)

A blogging break

GDI - blog break

I'm sure you've noticed my inability to post very often these days. I feel kind of uninspired, and I don't want to just plop any old thing onto the screen in order to post. So, I'm going to take a break. Recharge, hopefully come back in a week or two refreshed and inspired :)

In the meantime, I'd love to link to my favorite posts from GDI for your perusing pleasure. xoxo

A super yummy chocolate cake.

A tiny but impactful home improvement tip.

Baby June dances.

A fun place to eat here in Columbia.

One of my absolute favorite kid books.

Our kitchen renovation reveal & the break-down.

A bright red lipstick for fall.

Camping in teepees.

How to make pumpkin spice latte at home.

Ways to unknot your busy life.

Why cooking at home is so great.

Where to find some lovely art.

Movie nights.

The sweetest baby in the world turns four.

While my wild-man turns seven.

Just for fun, pregnancy pictures with Truett.

Planning a Christmas party.

Winter soups.

Love you guys. xoxo

(image via)

Friday tidbits

GDI - coffee pumpkins

Good Friday morning! What are you up to this weekend? If you're on the east coast, I hope you have a safe place to chill. We'll be playing lots of Jenga, cooking & watching movies :) Hope you have a great weekend, and see you back here next week.

Let's do some links.

Good to keep in mind during a renovation.

Oh dear, now I want to make a tiny toaster. Found via swissmiss.

I LOVE this raspberry Halloween costume. I think I'd rather use plastic balls to balloons, though, because I'd anticipate some popping along the way (ahem, looking at wild men like Truett).

Hoping to make these pickled okra later today.

A really simple way to enjoy all those gorgeous heirloom pumpkins. Also, you could save the seeds & try your hand at planting them next season.

Oh! these drawings.

All I want in this life (besides everything) is to do an eating tour of Italy. Holy.bananas.

I just got one of these at Costco and it is the softest, cutest sweatshirt ever.

Off-season but man, these bright pink blossoms just make me feel good.

That's it - have a great weekend!

Hurricane Matthew & other updates

GDI - June tree

Yesterday we got a voicemail saying school is cancelled for the next three days. I was a little confused - because hurricane Matthew isn't really supposed to hit Columbia all that hard - but then I heard it's because we are re-directing our school busses to Charleston for an evacuation. I think everyone is still reeling from last year's 1,000 year flood

My plans are as follows: Halloween crafts, movie night at our friend's house, & lots of cooking. Come on by, if you're looking for something to do.

Also, I'll be posting more regularly to instagram, so follow along if you'd like. 

Also, also, I'm almost done with this book: Eligible (it's a modern retelling of Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice) and it is soooo much fun. Can't put it down. 

GDI - pride & prejudice

(image credit dramafever)

About Me

My Photo Hi! I'm Hope. Welcome to my website all about: style, food, travel & parenting. I live in Columbia, SC with my husband and two bebes.

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