I have to brag for a sec. Sec, you like that? Oh yeah 1986. I so remember pink banana purses, side ponytails and telling people to, "hang on a sec!" just like I'd seen grown ups do.
But yeah. So. Bragging. Back to bragging. I've always kind of bitched and moaned that I didn't inherit the shopping gene that my sisters did. They could walk into some sketch little store and, moments later, emerge with WHAT'S THAT? A kick-ass dress for a dollar? What the HELL? I went in there and all I saw were sweaters with shoulder pads and loud patterned designs (AGAIN with the eighties reference).
I give my inability a not-so-politically-correct nickname so let's just keep moving (and I just KNOW Summer is all, if she didn't want to say it, why did she mention it?) (She'd be right, of course, but she's the oldest sister so she is always right. We called her Damage Control in college but that is a story for another time.)
Me, I prefer to walk into some already over-priced store (but HEY! the clothes are all sorted nicely and set up so suckers like me are drawn to the priciest items) and come out like this, "Well, I'm pretty sure I didn't just pay full-price but maybe, like, full price and a half. Eh. At least I didn't have to shop at the <redacted for politically correct reasons> store." ALL THE WHILE COMMENTS LIKE THOSE WERE HIDING JEALOUSY. Green, green jealousy for the biological ineptitudes I was handed (side note, I'm pretty sure my mom didn't nurse me long enough but that's on schedule for my therapy session next week so we won't get into it here.)
Sooooo. Have I strung this out long enough? Baited you much like an over-priced boutique would? Yes? I went to the Goodwill store down the street today and found stuff! Meaningful things! For a dadgummed SONG.
Firstly - drum roll please - I found an ugly throw pillow. I know, ugly, right? HANG ON. Not just any ugly throw pillow but one with a down filled insert. Now any of you non-house decorating types here are all, um I think I'm just going to turn my computer off right now, but wait! Those inserts? The ones used to fill really pretty throw pillows? Those things are expensive! And I got this one for $1.99! (I think Pottery Barn sells them for some ungodly price like eighty million an insert). So check it. My creative self can now sew or buy the cover and put a honest to goodness FEATHER INSERT IN FOR A DOLLAR NINETY NINE. Whew.
Plustly - I found a JCrew sweater for. WAIT FOR IT. A dollar fifty.
Ya'll, I am living proof that DNA deficiencies NEED NOT HOLD YOU BACK.