Writing checks my real-life can't cash

Wait. You remember that saying back in the 90's or whenever. Back when I was young and still thought my life would move through its various stages in perfect unison? It was something along the lines of, "Your mouth is writing checks your...brain can't cash"? "...your fist can't cash"? I know it had something to do with bravado and what not but what the hell were we all talking about?

So, but, yeah, sometimes that's how I feel about writing this blog. I'm all TALKY TALKY BRAVE behind this computer screen and then I'll see someone in real life and they're all, "Chuckle, chuckle, remember that bit on your blog..." which is precisely when the blood leaves my face and I start analyzing that chuckle like, does that small guffaw really mean IT WASN'T FUCKING FUNNY WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT ME BUT I'M TAKING THE HIGH ROAD HA HA. Or, wow, how totally insensitive of you to make that comment, don't you know there are BLANKS without a SINGLE BLANK in <insert war-torn country>.  Or worse, I will have made some obscure comment on here - probably wasn't obscure at all but I SO didn't expect anyone to remember or hold me to it - and here is someone trying to hold me to it.

Take yesterday for instance when I am chit-chatting with an old friend who has recently stopped by the website once or twice. She commented on my belly-size (I don't even want to talk about it! I think I could have been drowning puppies and received fewer angry comments or emails along the lines of SHUT UP YOUR BELLY ISN'T BIG. So okay, re-fucking-dacted. Another side note, you should know I rarely say fuck in real life but on here? IT SOUNDS SO COOL.) and we talked about children and what not. And then. Then THE chuckle, which preceded, "So (my husband) read the bit about your squirrel crotch."

THE END.

Comments

[The Mom]

Shall I start writing that (we all know which) word? Does it look cool if someone else writes it? Just curious (disingenuous, what?!)

[Hope Sypert]

Mom I think I speak for all of us when I say you should TOTALLY use that word more often in your writing.