Look, I realize this is not interesting

I also realize I am maybe going to get a somewhat creepy, definitely passive aggressive comment from Charter ITSELF (speaking of, are these companies like one giant wizard behind the curtain?) after posting this. But I am COMPELLED to release some blood pressure before Cider comes popping out screaming into his Blackberry that that is NOT the COLOR HE ORDERED. And he has FOURTEEN MEETINGS SCHEDULED BEFORE FOUR THIS AFTERNOON. You know? Not wanting a high stress kid.

But if this particular cable company doesn't drive me into a white padded room then I will go into therapy myself just to hold the hand of the next person who is driven to near tears by the big, giant company screwing around with the little people. THERE ARE NO WORDS.

Yesterday we received a bill for our cable and internet for double what we usually owe. I stared at in in mute horror for a few minutes, a part of me itching to run downstairs and show it Bud. Wave it in his face and cry out in frustration that this kind of screwing with us happens on an all too regular basis and seriously? I MEAN SERIOUSLY? Instead I decided to try and handle it myself because Bud already has a pretty tenuous hold on his own blood pressure and I can generally speak with a company - even a whorish, evil company such as this one - without IMMEDIATELY TALKING LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS.

I called, I pressed ZERO ZERO ZERO only a few thousand times until the operator machine voice said, "Okay, I will transfer you to a representative since you refuse to play our little game of me directing you to the correct department." Here's the thing, I WOULD normally play along. I WOULD normally press all of the correct buttons, but without fail, whenever I have in the past, I am STILL asked to give my account number, my phone number, my address, my name, the worst thing I did in high school that my parents still don't know about. SO I'M ALL, I'M JUST GOING TO PRESS ZERO SUCKAHS.

Which is when I get transfered to a highly trained individual who knows nothing about me, nothing about my account, has no authority to change ANYTHING AT ALL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD QUITE POSSIBLY NOT EVEN HIS OR HER OWN DIAPER. And I explain my story. The whole story that we do not owe two months payment, we are not overdue, I am staring at my bank account right now and WHAT DO YOU KNOW? That bill was paid EARLY and only a few weeks ago. SO DO WHAT? You know what she, ever helpful woman who probably goes home and curses the same company I have been cursing for the past two days, answered? I can't help you because you live in Alabama. Oh. Right. How could I have been so naive? Please. Direct me to the Southern Help Desk of We Don't Give a Shit. No really, it would be EVER SO NICE OF YOU.

I'm transfered. I'm told the mistake must be on the bank's end. I call the bank. They assure me the bill has been paid. I cry silent tears of utter frustration and contemplate canceling my entire account just so I don't end up with a cabinet full of little orange cylinders.

Bud calls back. Bless his heart he closes the door but I can still hear him hollering SO YOU CAN'T CONFIRM ANYTHING? SO THERE IS NO WAY FOR ME TO KNOW FOR SURE? WHAT DO I GET FOR THIS GIGANTIC WASTE OF MY LIFE?

That's when they answer, with a smile I can almost see through the phone, continued bad service.

Comments

[Sarah S.]

I seriously can't wait for Charter's response.

I told you you should have moved into my neighborhood. I have no problems with Brighthouse. DID YOU HEAR THAT CHARTER??? Brighthouse doesn't ruin my life the way you ruin Hope's!!!!!!!

Hugs and Kisses,
Sarah

P.S. Got another sonogram today. Dude, my baby is super hot.

[Hope Sypert]

I think I might've hurt their feelings with the whole passive aggressive comment.

And re: Baby S - sweet! Can I see the picture?

[bud]

As it turns out, they applied our payment ot our previous address. We have a huge credit at Colony Park and a huge deficet at Ivy Ln. This speaks to Charter's efficient billing and accounts recievable department.

We basically had to find this out on our own. Charter insisted until today that it was the banks fault. They had us faxing information into their black hole of oblivion for nothing.

[GA]

black hole of oblivion, BWAHAHAHHA