On perverse competition

So, wow, Thanksgiving was a crazy, spectacular mess of babies and family and the complete absence of social barriers that so often characterizes my family but one small memory sticks out in particular. And since I am at Panera and about to get kicked off from their stingy (but thanks for making it free!) internet, I'm going to relate this one nugget. It is worth repeating.

Ella, it turns out, is infatuated with my mother. So much so that "Nammy" (a derivative of Grammy), must go with her into the bathroom and sit on the real toilet as Ella takes care of things on the small toilet. No, no joke. The conversation goes something like this,

"NEED TO GO POTTY!"

"Okay, go head, the door's open,"

"NAMMY COME WIF EWWA,"

So Nammy sits RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR until Ella says:

"NO NAMMY, OOU TUM IN,"

And so on.

But I did not realize the severity of the grandmother crush until yesterday when my mom remarked that, isn't it funny, Ella is really protective of her. When Alison, her other granddaughter, tried to sit on her lap, Ella ran over to climb in as well, edging Alison out. When Sadie jumped up onto the couch, Ella came and made sure she got down and then clambered up to be in Nammy's lap.

So I hear this story right? And decided it would be a good time to yank my two year old niece's chain because come on? What is being an aunt if not a bully? So I jump onto my mom's lap, oh, I don't know, weighing quite possibly three hundred pounds more than she does and say, "Look Ella, this is MY MOM,"

I WAS ONLY KIDDING. I mean seriously. My mother reached down to pull Ella's face out of the couch because, dude, why is she burying her face? It was only a joke. And Ella's eyes are filled with tears.

Yeah. Well. Not only did my heart shatter into approximately eight thousand, million pieces, but you have never seen my own small, sweet mother shove someone off of her lap so fast. I GUESS BEING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER MEANS NOTHING ANYMORE NOW THAT THERE IS A SMALLER MUCH CUTER VERSION AVAILABLE, huh?

Comments

[The Mom]

Not true. Great theater, but not true. I just edged you over a little to make room.