Don't lie, just...stretch it a little

Bud has once again been gone all this week which means the dogs sleep in the bed with me, and I leap out of my skin every time the living room "settles". I'm sorry, I didn't think apartments were supposed to settle - no? Thanks dad. What else did you tell me to ease my fears that MIGHT NOT BE TRUE?

How about the time I stumbled into the living room, WAY past my bedtime, wondering about that show we'd just watched. That completely not-age-appropriate show about the possible existence of aliens. The one where their eyes are huge and almond shaped and they creep around like they mean us harm. THAT one? Oh, thanks dad, turned out to ONLY BE WEATHER BALLOONS.

Or the time my brother told me it was only a matter of time until the world was engulfed by the sun. Burned to a crisp and nothing left but...nothing. He assured me it was true. Scientists had said it and everything. Don't worry Hope, IF it happens it will be long, long after you're gone.

Or every time I came home from school, armed with more "liberal propaganda" saying the environment was sure to doom us all. Acid rain, global warming, TOO MANY LANDFILLS. Dad would give the comforting eye roll of I can't believe you buy this stuff. THOSE HIPPIES, filling my daughter's head.

And so I've adopted his nonchalance. Bud has been reading a book about the beginning of the world, the mechanics of our, and other animals, existence, and wouldn't you know it, it also talks about the possibility of the end of our world. How cute. So now when he comes into the bedroom with saucer eyes explaining to me how, no really, it's a POSSIBILITY, I only roll my eyes and ask, "didn't your grandfather have some sort of underground shelter?" "Wasn't his generation just as scared, but of other stuff?" "DON'T WE HUMANS ALWAYS DO THIS TO OURSELVES?"

But when Bud is out of town? I need someone to remind me that the aliens creeping around under the apartment, helping the structure to settle, all the while pouring acid rain into the groundwater that will eventually make its way to the ice caps which will kill the polar bears but not before they swim to Alabama and eat me? THEY'RE NOT REAL.

Comments

[The Mom]

Cheery mood, kiddo!
Anyway, that's why you need to have dogs sleeping in the bed. A two-dog week.