Grape Did It

He must've smelled cinnamon rolls and decided to come out

My very first nephew was born today! Emeric James. I know, it's like limerick without the L. Or that's what my dad keeps telling people who ask, "Wait, spell that for me." He was eight pounds and five ounces. I have yet to see him and when I asked Guerin to at least send me a foggy cell phone picture he said he doesn't believe in them or something like that. Cell phones that have picture taking capabilities. What will they think of next? Buggies that don't need horses? Light bulbs with out flame? I will be sure Emeric hears that story when he is sixteen and SO over his parents. Puh-lease, they won't even let him take the flying cell phone for a ride.

Going on a cruise, if you know what I mean

Here's where I start to see SIGNS everywhere

When I was studying abroad in England, the week before we were scheduled to leave I became a basket case. I was POSITIVE our plane home was going to crash and I would never see my family and friends again. I was so homesick during that trip I didn't even enjoy myself  much, something I regret now. I was the anti-social bitch on the bus wearing her headphones and thinking about how much I missed free condiments at McDonald's and wait? aren't the colors of our streets prettier? Even the mundane became a comparison of just how much better it was back home and I don't need to hear how stupid that was. Because of course, it was very awesome in its own very different way. The odd thing was, I had traveled abroad before and enjoyed it immensely. I don't think it was a case of under-appreciation but of feeling isolated, and in a group of people none of whom I clicked with very well. Wow. When did I decide this would be a therapy-post?

Fast forward five years and we are leaving for our honeymoon cruise tomorrow morning. Well, we drive to Florida tomorrow and board Saturday. And this is where the sign part comes in. In London I kept calling my mother and telling her just how sure I was we would all crash and die. Didn't Abe Lincoln's wife have some premonition? The one he DIDN'T LISTEN TO? Aren't we related to his crazy wife in some distant way? MY GOD THE POSSIBILITY. And now we are about to board a ship that may or may not have enough life boats and, how high are the railings? And, are the laws on murder different on the high seas. That's when I become very, very superstitious. No cat better cross my path today. And so when Bud and I agreed, "Nah, this Will thing, it can wait until we get back, it's not like we're going to die or anything." I heard fate whisper don't tempt me.

Fetch me some grapes

I consider this one a gift

Because who in their right mind would post a picture of themselves looking like this? This was when I wore shirts approximately three sizes too big, tucked them into my too-tight jeans and then fluffed them out as much as possible. Oddly, I was wearing a shirt that said Alabama, maybe I knew something.

I wonder if they have half off coupons

This morning Bud and I met with a financial adviser to discuss that eighteen dollars we've managed to squirrel away in the course of combining bills and living expenses. He was polite enough not to tell us we were wasting his time and also allayed some of our fears like, "Does Bud need to freak out when I buy a new pair of boots at Kmart?" and "Is giving birth really as hard as they say it is?" He listened patiently as a year and a half of financial squabbles tumbled from our mouths and it was not unlike pulling the rubber stopper out of an air mattress.

One of the questions we went over was about how to give each other power of attorney and also how to establish a will. Neither very happy subjects, "So, if he becomes a vegetable, who gets to decide on pulling the plug?" "Uh, if she dies, do I get her collection of pretentious reading material from college?" Our adviser advised us to go to a legal forms website and print out a combination will/power of attorney form, fill out, notarize, pay and badda bing, we'd be good to go.

Look! There are sales EVERYWHERE! (from the website):

"Try our new Alabama Last Will and Testament Package and save!"

Also

My new banner has nothing to do with me (except that I LOVE these designs) and everything to do with this guy.

I had to battle for these in Kmart

Well, that's an exaggeration, but it was crowded. These boots are both comfy and sexy, in that, I wear winter boots with skirts kind of way. So, we all win. And they were cheap. I must be shallow because I get such a high from these finds.

So good you may need a cigarette afterwards

Our trip was very good. A whirlwind such that I woke up several times this morning, the little voice in my head telling me to get out of bed and take the dogs out already, but every time I switched positions the other little voice said, ahh, this one is even better, sleep awhile longer. I've been thinking of how to present the last several days, on here, in a way that isn't so much, ohmygoodnesswedidthisandthisandthis, and more, here, let me show you what a great time we had in a normal, calm way. The only way I can think to do that is to post pictures and paraphrase. You'll get the feel better than my cracked out voice could say it right now. The cracked out voice that has had three cups of coffee this morning and a pineapple from Hawaii (thanks, Faircloth's!). The pineapple that is so good I dedicated the title of this post to its sweet golden nectar. So here we go.

Nope! Not our wedding. Our second reception that Bud's mom hosted for us. She re-created our cakes, centerpieces, tablecloths and votives. I had no idea she was going to go all out. It was splendid.

Should've saved us some money and hired Bud's mom as our florist for the first one

The cake plates were even the same

Must always take pictures of lights. Am sort of like a mosquito in that way.

I realize this picture quality isn't that great, but I regret portions of the outfit I was wearing, very much, and this is the only one I am willing to post.

We think this kind of cutesy-ness is the reason Copper released his anal sacs on the way down to Texas. He looks terrified in this picture but in reality he is just planning his next attack.

Some, ok most, stereotypes about Texas are true. These are oil derricks (I'm not even sure how to spell derrick but that's my best attempt), decorated for Christmas. When asking about them, Bud and his friend tried to explain, No, I think the real ones were all taken down and these newer ones erected as monuments. In the middle of town. And if you giggle while a Texan is explaining something like this, about his town? You will be glared at.

I'll post new boot pictures soon and I'm sure some Texas-trip stories will come out in the following few days but there you have the reason I slept for 11 hours last night.

We're home and the disposal stinks

I'm waiting for the day we come home from a trip and our house smells pleasant. This time we didn't wash some peanut butter or something down the drain, fully, before we left. Delicious.

I can't wait to post and put up pictures, but it'll have to be tomorrow because we just drove nine hours in the pouring rain. Four of us in a pickup truck. The dogs, they behaved wonderfully. Us, not so much, and while I'll try not to exaggerate it was VERY SHITTY.

PS - Copper didn't vomit, he did something infinitely worse. I KNOW YOU CAN'T WAIT.