Grape Did It

Taking a moment to reflect

I have some big news and it goes with a big story but, since I have not spoken to all of the people I know I really do need to speak to about this Big News, I am not posting about it yet. Although if you think, really hard, you can probably even guess the BN.

But I will tell you this. As I was going through a list of people this morning, I heard my voice mutter, "Who is this cracker?". And then I stopped and realized, I had just referred to someone as a CRACKER. I don't know where it came from, I didn't even know I knew that word could be used in an inappropriate way. I just started saying it, like a little kid who recently overheard her neighbor who waters the lawn in his underwear, say something bad. Then repeats it.

Fear of God is the first step toward knowledge

And here I thought I spent some good money on college. Come to find out, all I have to do if be afraid. Very afraid! That is an, honest to goodness, church marquee sign I saw on the way home from my dad's family's town yesterday. We went for a day visit and on the way home, I kept seeing these small, hand painted signs tacked to trees. They went on for miles. Stuff that said things like, "Praise the Lord, please!" and "Love Jesus, please!". They all seemed to end in a polite plea, sort of like, "Save yourself, believe in Jesus, or get ready for some hot weather, please!" Please, huh? Well, since you asked nicely. Living in Alabama is never boring.

A grasshopper visited our porch this morning

Obsession, reaching an all-time high

And last night? I dreamt I opened the chocolate and my Wizard Card was Dumbledore. God I feel like a Trekkie.

Romance

The identification of people in this post is at the request of Georgia, and Bud.

HOPE: "Can I have a kiss?"

BUD: "If it means you'll get out of my face."

This just may sum up what I hate about authority

My driving record is, for the record, less than perfect. And yes that is a bad attempt at downplaying something in order to be funny. When I was in my early twenties, I had negative 11 points on my license. I didn't really know what that meant until I got a letter from the state saying I was in danger of having my license revoked, should I accrue any more tickets. This "straightened me out" for a couple of years, enough time for some of the points to drop away. I have straightened me out in quotes because I have yet to believe that speed, in and of itself, is reckless. Yes, I realize excessive speed is stupid just like just about anything in great excess is stupid. And I really don't want to write a speeding diatribe this morning. This is just an intro to a lovely email I received from my mother (thanks, mom, no sarcasm there, truly thanks!):

Subject: FW: FOR YOUR INFORMATION...
Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2007

"During the week of *August 13-18, 2007*, the Alabama Department of Public Safety will have every supervisor and eligible staff person in uniform and on the roads. This will add approximately 150 more Troopers to the Highways during this week.

It is my understanding that they will be maintaining a "zero tolerance"
rule on speeding and other violations, meaning that if you are 1 mile
over the speed limit, you will be ticketed. They will also be looking
for other traffic violations, such as not wearing seat belts and
reckless driving.

This was told to us at the Judges Conference by a Department of Public
Safety official.

Michael Gregory

Administrative Office of Courts
334-546-7251 cell"

Aside from the fact that he randomly capitalized things like Troopers and Highways, I appreciate the warning. I guess. Although it also smacks of a threat and, and, one mile over? I know. I know that a lot of people drive 30 miles over a speed limit, drunk, high, un-belted and then slur, "don't yoush have anything better to do? go get shom of thosh murderrrerrs goddamit" but I think one mile? Yes, go get some of those murderrrerrs.

Still in need of some organization - but now! in orange!

Overheard in the restaurant kitchen

"Yeah, we'll have our house paid off in...29 years!"

"I done f***ed my credit up so bad, they won't sell me a bicycle!"

I mention Harry Potter again, I'm sorry, my mind can only handle one thing at a time

I realize it is my fault for staying up until 2 AM reading Harry Potter last night. But the two double shifts in a row really aren't my fault unless you want to get into the "choices we make as adults" and other mature stuff I am too sleepy to handle this morning. Waking up to your brother yelling, "HOPE WAKE UP!" on the answering machine, at least an hour before you absolutely need to get up now! is definitely not my fault. And that last bit? That was supposed to be said in a threatening whisper. Nor is the fact that our phone jack is in the bedroom. Only. So I am often jolted out of sleep by someone desperate for a phone call about a lost pet or a family member wanting to catch up or a friend...who....you know....just wants to say hiii. Haven't spoken in a while. And perhaps we won't for another while, if you keep waking me up.

Domestic bliss (have I used this title before?). In that case, more domestic bliss.

First author's note: this is especially funny because I was never "the finder" in my family. Quite the opposite actually.

"Hey, sorry about waking you this morning, I was just stressed about finding my keys."

"Mm hm, it's ok, I just got up. I'm so sleepy from reading Harry Potter."

"What time did you fall asleep?"

"Definitely after midnight."

"Well, let me know if you find my keys, ok?"

"Mrph urgl..."

"Are you brushing your teeth?"

"Mm hm...hang on, let me look in your pants from the other night...oh, here they are!"

*Second author's note: I am about halfway through Harry Potter and I'M NOT GIVING ANYTHING AWAY but am savoring each word, each page, it is so good. And the last.