Grape Did It

Genetics don't lie

We're leaving for the North Carolina mountains tomorrow morning, early (at least, according to Bud) so today I've been walking around the house, picking things up, doing a last load of laundry. Trying to get the apartment getting-back-from-vacation ready. I walked into our office/guest/storage room and muttered, "there's just crap! everywhere!" And that is when I realized, I sounded precisely like my dad. That is a direct quote I heard from him, oh, once a week, growing up. Whenever it was time to "de-clutter". I can run, but I will never be able to hide.

Pearl is BACK

I can't get enough of this little girl. Unfortunately, she is retiring. But I just feel like if I met her, we could really be friends.

I'll show you f*&%*&^ flair!

This morning, on gchat as is our tradition, Georgia and I talked about life. It was very exciting - all about going back to school and maybe trying this (no, too hard)? Or how about this? Yeah, nah. I prefer to waitress and complain. OH wait, I've got it! You are just meant to be a failure. That? That I can probably get on board with. And wow, please don't post a comment on how, Hope, you are NOT a failure. My point isn't really that. It's that I don't know that I have a figuring out to do.

Our conversation started because, ok, because last night at the restaurant another waitress breezed by and explained that "the woman at your table? It's her husband's birthday." And while I was just SO excited for him to turn another boring year older (this is the snob in me, it is - but if you are above 15 and trying to celebrate your birthday by having humiliated wait staff yell and throw peanuts, or sing, or clap - you are boring in real life). So I ignored it. And I knew it was wrong because if she chose to celebrate her husband's birthday that way, then, well, I guess we all have a right to exist or something. But the kicker? Upon walking out she told my manager! What? Was she hoping to accomplish? Oh come back next year, we'll make it extra special that time! Or maybe she was just angry and hoping I would get in trouble. Although she told the manager I'd forgotten. And if I'd forgotten, why not remind me? SLUT. So I got called out and I felt embarassed and then, angry. I know it was on me to do the birthday. I just resent that false flair we're supposed to live out while waiting tables. And throwing peanuts. Which led me to making choices in my life. Which led me to I can't wait tables much longer. Which led to what are my options and that's when I told Georgia, I don't think I have any.

She responded in this way: that's why I think we mate, it gives us the opportunity to do what we want.

Um, yeah.

I think I make him proud

These past couple of days Sarah has been visiting and, our friend Chuck has also been in town because he works for the same company Bud does, just in South Carolina. It has been two and a half days of ice cream, the pool, red wine, shopping and trying hard not to make an ass of myself in front of Bud's coworkers. Because he works there and, unlike me, has to continue to show up every morning, regardless of his girlfriend trying to kick someone in a parking lot. I guess it sounded good at the time but really I just don't remember. I did WHAT?! And then got mad when you tried to stop me? Please, please continue to stop me. In fact, next time just lock me in the truck before I order those last two shots of Southern Comfort. Do you want those iced? NO! I want them chilled! That's what I meant...iced. Yes, I was even probably on the bartender's nerves.

Last night Bud's company hosted a big barbeque and as Sarah and I showed up in our lovely dresses, I told her I was just waiting for the moment when I fell over into the lake and mooned everyone. You might laugh but not when it is YOUR REALITY. Luckily this time nothing like that happened except for when I leaned into one of Bud's coworkers for a hug. A hug. That I think he had no intention of giving me.

Drinking dark whiskey, telling white lies, or in our case possibly kicking someone in the parking lot

Ah yes my friends. Sarah is visiting and you know to look out when we start singing Gary Allen.

The Apocalypse

Friday I received a cryptic message in my inbox saying that "A" had left a message on my MySpace page. Recently I have begun to delete the emails from Candy and Crystal because, hey, let's face it, I don't know anyone by that name. Even if I HAD known someone in high school who decided, yes, this year would be a good one to change my name, it would have been to something much more sophisticated like Katherine Chanel Williamson because I am from McLean and we are nothing if not sophisticated. But in this case something told me to go ahead and open it, go ahead and see if indeed I do know someone named "A" because that lends itself to all kinds of possibilities.

Turns out I DO know "A". Turns out "A" stands for Alison. My mother. Is on MySpace. And I think that says enough, for one post at least.

Another river aquisition

Jonah the Rock

At the pool again, this time with little kids

"Daddy! Daddy, help!"

"No, no, don't say that unless you're actually drowning."

My mom should win an award

For sending me this video.

Deja Vu

Bud gets home today! Again! From another trip!

I was talking to a (long-distance) friend this morning about just how incredibly lonely it is to be in a place without close friends. And how cloying the advice to "join a club" is - even though given with the best of intentions. Go out! Talk to someone at a coffee shop! But I know, and really they know, that should I lean over and try to make small talk with a woman my age at a coffee shop all I would get is a nervous stare. And then she would leave and for the rest of her day wonder who that creep was. And frankly, I wouldn't blame her. Because I would probably do the same thing.

I went to the pool yesterday, alone (but see how brave I am?!), and held my breath pretending not to listen to the conversation of the big, happy group next to me. Because actually? I was just jealous of that fact that they had each other. And were hanging out. Their conversation was incredibly dumb (a sample of which I will put below) but I think it was mostly dumb because I wasn't a part of it, and wish I had been. I roll my eyes whenever I see a gaggle of squealing girls and yet, I want to be part of that gaggle and when I have been, I squealed stupid things just as much. Or more maybe.

And the thing is - I, we, have lots of friends. We've just scattered so much over the years and it seems to get harder to make true, intimate friends after college. And so my life consists of extraordinarily boring weeks combined with extraordinarily fun, if irregular, visits. I just want it to even out a little.

Spying at the pool:

"She's a virgin,"

"Oh really!? She is?!"

"Yep, and so he's got to pretend he's all good too now! Hahaha."

......

"SO, are you hooking up with Chris?"

"I don't know."

"How can you NOT KNOW?"

......

"Do you realize you walked into the wrong house last night? You could've been arrested!"

"I know, I like to get in trouble."

Pause.

"No you don't, you're never in trouble."

"You're right, I mean, uh, I like to almost get in trouble."