Grape Did It

Outside my window

Ella girl, I feel your pain

It's official, Lance Bass is A Gay

I think we all get it. Lance Bass is gay. You might be tempted to pause at this moment and ask yourself, “Who is Lance Bass?” Or even, “I think that guy was in a boy band in the 90’s and no one’s heard from him in years.” Or you might think, Lance Bass is gay and I am ready for lunch. Or wearing a blue tshirt. I mean seriously, what the hell.

Let them eat cake

When Sadie first returned from her jaunt in the woods she weighed under 9 lbs. Which is low for a dog who only weighed around 10 to begin with. So, as I’ve already posted, she’s getting lots of scraps and bacon grease to bring her back up to a healthy weight. Otherwise, she walks right in front of me, swoons to one side and says in a fake southern accent, “I ahm jus maylting uhway”.

I was eating peanut butter toast in the car recently and couldn’t resist her – aptly named – puppy dog stare. But because she has gotten to the point where even cheese is a maybe for her palate, she only wanted the peanut butter toast in order to lick the peanut butter off. Please, she doesn’t eat whole wheat bread anymore, that’s for common dogs.

Don't take this the wrong way, but

Something about weddings and babies brings out the unsolicited advice in the best of us. You’d never think someone would be highly offended that you only picked your 16 best friends as bridesmaids as opposed to 20, or that having out of town guests with no rehearsal dinner is similar to showing up for a job interview wearing only a trash bag. Same with babies. The old-school moms insist you let your baby cry, no matter how blue he or she turns, while hippie parents would prefer you to duct tape your baby to your breast. Happily for me I am neither married nor have a child so I have much to look forward to.

What has surprised me in the last few days is the amount of advice Bud and I are getting on moving; from family, from friends, and from the local bum who is actually wearing a trash bag. Everyone – I mean literally everyone – has an opinion on our move and subsequent job/job search. And it’s not that I don’t understand, believe me I have been that person who loudly proclaims, “Listen, I’m not trying to tell you what to do but...this is exactly what you should do…” and I’m also sure the majority of the people giving us advice do it because they love us. And are right. And know what’s best. For everyone.

In truth I know I should be grateful that we have a big, loving, extended family and network of friends – and I am. Besides, a lot of the advice is good. It’s just hard for a girl who usually begins her own sentences with, “Well, what I think you should do is…”

Shoo fly

At the yard sale on Saturday, I sold my couch and matching chair to two guys who looked about first-apartment age. They said they’d come by on Monday to pick it up. Bud took their number and that was the last I thought about it. I was mowing the yard today and looked up to see three bemused men looking at me. The look that says we seee youuu and you don’t see uuhhs yet. Flustered I turned off the mower, apologized for my little black ball of energy who was barking her ass off at them and opened the side door.

Once they left I finished the yard and then came in to the nastiness that is the space where a couch was. I swept up the dead, drying cricket and other miscellaneous stuff – noting, hey maybe I’m allergic to drying crickets and that’s why I can’t stop sneezing in this apartment. When I opened the glass door to dump the dirt and unfortunate cricket out, a gigantic fly came in – maybe he heard about my behind-the-couch burial area – and started buzzing around the living room. I re-opened the door and asked the fly to leave. Sadie ran out. I shooed her in and told the fly to go. She ran out again. Poor Sadie darted in and out, looking at me each time like I was manic and might need hospitalization in which case who would give her food laden in bacon grease or chicken fat? Since she's spent nearly a year and a half training me and isn't about to let some "episode" take her hard won work away. It occurred to me that probably the fly wasn’t listening and I could shoo him out without saying anything. Which I did. But I'm still nervous about, not so much the fact that I thought a fly could hear me, but that I thought it understood English.

Trying to communicate

This morning I asked Bud why he always has to antagonize me. He laughed and said which one of us is the antagonist and which is the procrastinator? I, still not understanding what was going on said, “I guess I’m the procrastinator and you’re the antagonist”. To which he answered, “but you know, isn’t it supposed to be like in a story one person is the antagonist and one is the…what is it…procrastinator?” Finally all my English classes dawned on me, “Oohhhhh, you mean the antagonist and protagonist?”

*Bud would like me to note, he was joking the entire time.

It was hard on us all

Today we had a yard sale. Blacksburg is usually pretty mild in terms of weather but has been southland-hot these past couple of weeks. We made a little money and lightened our load for the trip to Alabama. That's right, Bud got two job offers on Thursday! The one we (I) think he's going to take is in Birmingham, AL. Anyway, it was boiling today for the yard sale and I think Sadie took it hardest of all. Here she is after a long day of sales. And here we are with pink cheeks from standing in the driveway all morning trying to get people to pay us for our stuff.

What a coincidence

I asked these two where they were from. They said Kings Dominion.

Bud's writing

Bud wrote a "piece" (as he called it) that is supposed to be written by me. I think, since he's making fun of me, I might as well actually post it:

Today Bud and I were sitting out in the backyard after the storm this afternoon. Its getting to that time of year when afternoon storms roll up several times each week and make everything so fresh smelling and clean. It also makes everything especially wet and soggy. Stringing together enough of these storms makes everything flooded and swampy just as in my backyard during the past few weeks. It started on June ??? (see post of June???) but has yet to recede due to the high clay soil and poor drainage of my backyard (I love my soil scientist). The resulting stench of the 3 week old swamp overpowers the good smells of wet asphalt and drying leaves and grass. Also, the bugs are breeding like crazy and I think I will soon contract SARS or westnile.