Grape Did It

The Bets w/Out Money are Rolling In

I woke up between 5-6 this morning - courtesty of Truett - but once awake could not fall back asleep because I was having mild contractions. This is nothing so terribly exciting given that I've been having them for a week or more, but the problem is this:

Wait? Was that a contraction? A REAL ONE? Are we going to have a baby? OmyGOD are we? Wait, today?

And then I can't fall back asleep even though so far it's been nothing but little jabs from the universe who is snickering on the sidelines, like, watch this, I can totally make her get excited and not go back to sleep.

Well guess what universe, you chump? I ATE TWO WAFFLES DRENCHED IN BUTTER AND SYRUP AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DID, FALL BACK ASLEEP.

Until of course T woke up around 7.

Anyway. Here are the votes so far. If you add yours in the comments, I'll be sure to update this list! (Oh and by the way, my sister in law decided to add sex to the game. SEX OF THE BABY. Jeez louise, you.)

Georgia: February 13th, boy

Ameer: February 5th

Bonnie: February 3rd

Mom: February 11th

Dad: February 11th, 8:46 AM

Mary: February 9th

BW: February 20th, boy

Summer: February 7th, girl

Cutchin: boy

Ella: girl

Michelle: February 2nd

Tammy: February 1st 

Becky: February 12th

Cari: February 6th/7th

Baby date count down!

A few family and friends have been throwing out their "bets" (my mother never let us use real money when we bet growing up and since she reads this website I won't say that we still did, a little, under the table anyway) on when this baby will show up. This weekend was Bud's - whoops! - and someone else guessed next Sunday. 

If you'd like, leave yours in the comments section. I'll jot them down and then announce a winner in the bleary first days of baby. 

Winner doesn't exactly get anything, but bragging rights and maybe a future in baby-date divining. 

37 weeks picture + my bikini wax and massage experience if you'd like to keep reading

37 weeks and 1 day.

Saturday morning dawned bright and early with me dragging my very pregnant ass into Truett's bed in a sad attempt to get him to stay in his own bed all night. Right? Make sense? This post is going to be about the pregnancy massage and bikini wax - if you can take it - but right now I've got to diverge just a little. 

Truett has gotten into the habit of climbing into our bed in the middle of the night. This happens to be something I love. I mean, it's nice that he goes to bed in his own bed, that Bud and I have a couple of hours to ourselves afterwards - for me this is why I couldn't co-sleep all the time (though I understand totally). But then he'll drag his sleepy self into our room and cuddle right up against my back and fall asleep because you remember how that feels, right? You wake up alone in your own room, heart pounding from some odd baby anxiety and then climb into your parents warm bed and your heartbeat immediately slows to a soft thud and you bliss back out to sleep? Me too. But we have a newborn about to make his or her appearance and I just can't wrap my brain around the many-wake-ups in our bed for nursing + Truett sleeping in between. So now I end up in Truett's bed when he gets up. MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

Truett and Bud trundled into Bud's truck - T very excited and hollering about how "the forest" was his "faborite! faborite! faborite!" They had an excellent and muddy time and I got to sneak off to my pregnancy grooming appointment.

I scheduled the wax for before the massage in the hopes that the sequence would be pain THEN relaxation. Here's what actually happened.

The waxing attendant (?) asked me to lie down on the table - standard - and helped prop my back up with a few towels. Here's the thing, before you get pregnant, lying on your back pregnant seems like no big deal. But for some reason it is SUPER difficult. Baby and everything with it puts so much pressure on organs that aren't used to being pressed and it's just...weirdly uncomfortable. 

Then there's the pain of the actual ripping. (I realize some of you are rolling your eyes like, and this is necessary why?) My upper lip began to sweat and I could feel the bile rising. I closed my eyes, tried to breathe. This is all in your head Hope, RIIIIIP! ALL IN YOUR HEAD HOPE DEAR JESUS I PROMISE TO QUIT SPLASHING YOUR NAME ALL OVER MY WEBSITE IN VAIN RIIIP! JESUS CHRIST.

So yeah. I had to ask for a break. In the middle of a bikini wax, with a belly as big as the above picture, no pants on and throw away underpants. 

I crouched onto my side until my heart rate returned to normal and then she was able to finish. She brought me a glass of water and some pretzels and looked terrified that maybe she'd done something wrong but I just kept trying to explain to her that on the spectrum of pregnancy my body falls squarely onto the far-wimp side. It wigs out easily.

Then I made my way to the room next door for my massage. Now. I have never had a pregnancy massage before and it sounds glorious. Your body's been carrying around 15, 20, 25 extra pounds for several weeks now and hello? Ahhh. My concern though was how I was going to maneuver into a position to have my back rubbed? I'd heard of different ways: pregnancy chairs, table cut-outs for belly and lying on your side. This particular spa uses tables with cut outs for your belly.

I don't know, I just think this is naive. Even with a cutout, you're still putting pressure on your belly, hips, breasts. But I gave it the old college try - which a few years ago would have meant getting drunk ahead of time - and it started out okay. Until the room started spinning and the reverse feelings of pressure began to make my upper lip sweat, my organs felt like they were about to come out of my mouth and finally I was all fuck this, I've got to speak up. Speak up girls! Speak up!

She was super accomodating and helped me wallow onto my side, put the insert back into the table and even handed me some pillows for support. It ended on a fantastically relaxing note and now I can share with you these words of wisdom if you find yourself in a similar position:

1. yes, having someone rip hair from between your legs is sort of awkward, but don't be afraid to speak up. Taking a little break is no big deal and you can always laugh and insert something deprecating about pregnancy once your heart has stopped blending itself to shreds in your belly.

2. if you do get a pregnancy massage - and I recommend you do - explain ahead of time that you might like to try two or three positions before you're sure of being comfortable. You can even say, "my crazy friend Hope nearly yakked during hers until she realized being on her side worked best." I don't care. But you're paying for a massage, make the best of it.

3. get a recommendation for people who have worked with pregnant women before. Both of these ladies were super professional, accomodating and the wax - while not pleasant - was well-mitigated because I could tell my attendant was a professional.

Cheers to happy pregnancies!

Friday tidbits!

This weekend begins with a pregnancy massage for me tomorrow morning while Bud takes Truett to a work site. Traipsing around in the mud is right up both their alleys and Truett might even get to see some tractors!

I am also hoping to get last minute baby stuff in place - rearranging the furniture in our room and getting the dresser/changing table set up. I just read a tip about bringing your own nightgown for labor so I'll be perfusing the store for that this weekend after I get T this baby homecoming gift. Although I'm pretty sure this baby is good and comfortable where s/he is, I have been having contractions when I lie down. In other words, the more we prepare, the later baby will make an appearance. Babies are ALL OVER Murphy's Law.

A few links, then:

Missing cat posters. So wrong, in the funniest kind of way. 

I have a little rainy-day type list and on it is Get a haircut. This is an even better version.

This rustic tabletop zooms straight to the top of my favorites. 

I loved Ryan Gosling BEFORE he became an internet meme but that's mostly probably because he looks like Bud. These pregnancy posters are hysterical.

One of my very best friends is Palestinian and so this Shit...Says hit a chord in the best kind of way. Reminded me of all of the growing-up visits I did to her house. (hi, Zaina!)

That's it! Have a fabulous weekend and see you guys Monday! 

image via willowslodge

Babysitting

One of the boys next door - and everytime I say this Bud rolls his eyes because they are in their early 20's - got a new puppy a few weeks ago. He is the cutest darn mixture of a black lab and pit bull and so we play with him sometimes or even pick him up over their fence for a surprise play-date. Surprise! Your dog is over here in our yard!

Late this morning Truett was outside playing in the backyard while I had dipped into the kitchen for something - probably food - when I heard someone talking to T. I didn't exactly panic, but it is a weird feeling to hear your two year outside conversing with someone who has an adult voice. We do have friendly neighbors though so I'll just say I rush-ish-ed outside to see what was up.

It was the puppy owner and I asked him how everything was going and he kind of rolled his eyes, took a drag of his cigarette and said he really likes his dog, but sometimes he's really annoying. I mean, I couldn't help it, I laughed. I KNOW. Thirty-something married and pregnant with second child laughs derisively at younger and less experienced adult. Totally fucking annoying. But it just burbled out. I told him I was sorry, but it just sounded so much like having a child (I was struuung out for the first few weeks of Sadie-caring).

"Yeah well, he just ate a bunch of my Twizzlers."

"Oh. That's not as bad as chocolate though."

"We're about to go to the zoo so I'm worried about leaving him."

Which is why we've been babysitting the little sucker for the past couple of hours. His name is Luke and Truett asked if we could keep "Yutie Yute" forever. 

Valentine's Day gift guide in a mannish sort of way

I keep perusing the internet for "valentine's gift guide for men" "men's valentine gift guide" "CAN'T YOU JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU INTERNET?" "GOD!"

So I made one up!

Bud weighed in heavily not only with his own ideas, but I kept him in mind all except for a couple, which is tough to do because Bud is a very meat + potatoes type guy. I wanted to link to those cool rocks that you put in a tumbler of whiskey to keep it cold without watering it down - you know the ones? They're so chic. But then I'd picture Bud opening them and being all, Um, rocks? For my what? Already-cold beer I drink straight from the can?

A few are whimsical though. A girl's gotta dream because after all, according to the internet-thingy, this is really her holiday.

Bacon + hot sauce. I don't think this one needs an explanation.

iPhone alarm clock that looks 60's-ish. Might or might not be more up my alley. 

Red tie. Bud's idea. So cute and simple. (And only $4!)

Guess who's oh so hopeful we get into a house before planting season? Scotland leeks.

My girlfriend Kelley is getting a heart-rate monitor for her husband and I think it's a super sweet idea. Bud would love this since he's really into running right now plus, a heart rate monitor for Valentine's Day? Bada bing!

Finally, the Kindle app for the iPhone. It's free so this link is my early gift to Bud :)

A few pleasant things

Ala lists of things to look forward to or things I'm grateful for, after a decidedly rough morning with Truett, I decided to make this list.

1. lunch at Chipotle in the warm, sunny weather. Turns out South Carolina is (happily) unpredictable like that. Truett loves Potelay, and so do I, so it is the perfect treat when a day is kind of rough.

2. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with about an hour of contractions. They were super mild, braxton-hicks (which can and do happen for WEEKS ahead of time) but it actually made me excited. Like, holy cow there's an honest to God BABY in there and this is GOING TO HAPPEN.

3. My pregnancy massage and bikini wax (!) are scheduled for this weekend. I'm debating sneaking in a pedicure.

4. Truett fell in love with a faucet-whale (like the one below) yesterday at Target so score! Now I know what to get him for baby-homecoming gift. (The one below is Pottery Barn)

5. Restorative naps for both of us this afternoon. Nothing.better.

6. And then the goddamn guy across the street who is sawing a HUGE log into tiny pieces with a miniature chain saw. 

Fair's fair after all.

Winter blues antidote

A couple of weeks ago The Pioneer Woman ran a post on Cuties clementines. At first I just kind of passed through the post because okay, yes I know clementines are nice little oranges.

But then Truett and I were shopping the other day and, tired of the can-never-tell-if-they'll-be-sour-or-sweet and sick-of-picking-seeds-out-of oranges (plus that's hell if you have a paper cut), I picked up a box.

Oh my goodness. Truett LOVES these suckers. We're on our second box - five pounds each mind you - and the first thing he said this morning when he woke up was, "I fink I want an orange," and then ran down the hall to get one.

They are super easy to peel - bonus, toddler distraction! - and he shovels them into his face as if I were giving him ALL of his leftover Christmas candy at once.

Some other nice things about this fruit:

The little spritz of citrus juice gives off a happy smell every time we open one. The other day we decided to play Sniff Sniff, Say (I just now made up that name ARE YOU PROUD?), so for instance we'd get a hunk of peel off the clementine, bring it to our nose and come up with a summertime-y memory. Pool! Sunshine! Beach! Truett's descriptions mostly stopped at, "Popsicles!"

Vitamin C. T's been fighting a cold for a week and a half now so it's nice knowing he's getting an extra boost of Vitamin C.

The bright orange is like a little dose of light therapy. Especially helpful since it has been cold and super drab here the past few days.

Plus, come on, Cuties for my cutie? Ba dum CHHHHHHH.

He also calls the ghosts geese

When we drive downtown, to look at houses, or go by Bud's work or whatever, we pass an old asylum. It is the coolest (read: spookiest) building and I've been hoping ever since we moved here to take pictures. Which has only resulted in these spoken words:

"Crap! I forgot my camera AGAIN! I really want to get pictures of that old place."

It's still half-being used - for offices and such - but a good portion of what I can only assume were the actual patient rooms - have broken windows, the old brick is soft and crumbly. I love it. It still actually says, "Asylum" in big letters on the front.

But I believe I've been a little over-zealous in my narrative when we drive by because yesterday Truett piped up from the back seat:

"Let me out! I not crazy!"

Friday tidbits!

My aunt tells the story of how, in her very small town, whenever they have a water shortage and water has to be turned off for a few hours during the middle of the day, she becomes very thirsty. Thirstier than she ever feels normally. It makes me laugh and it's so true, by the end of my pregnancies I begin making up cocktails in my head. Here are a few great ones that incorporate citrus, a winter fruit that is so the antidote. 

Are you addicted to Downton Abbey yet? If so, go to this link and check out Up, Down & On Set and also Style. I can't help but want to ring a bell in the morning and have fresh oatmeal and coffee brought to my room. (Thanks, Miriam!)

After reading last Friday's Condoms, children comment, a girlfriend sent me this funny image. 

Have any of you used these knives before? I'm always on the hunt for really good - but not terribly expensive - knives and I recently read about Kuhn Rikon. Yes?

This Venn diagram is specifically about Ron Paul, but I thought it made for an interesting look no matter what.

I am now kinda in the mood to make homemade almond milk especially for my morning coffee. I wonder where to get those impossibly cute glass milk bottles? 

Super sweet Valentine's Day ideas. What in the world do you get for your husband/boyfriend though? It seems like all Valentine's Day gifts are for women. One year I got Bud alligator sausage, no lie, but this year I'm stumped. Plus I want to hurry up and figure it out because there's a good chance I'll be in labor on or around V-day this year :)

This weekend I'm hoping to get a little more baby-organized (we STILL haven't settled on name(s)!) and maybe try this mousse recipe. (Originally via cafefernando) (you're welcome, Georgia) What are your plans?

image via drinks.seriouseats